Rules on dating a musician
(Of course, if you are in the role of full time mom, or homemaker, that’s great.Breathe into that and know that you are blessing the world by your being.) 6. Being in a long term relationship with a musician entails long periods of separation. Unless your guy is a session musician, you will be apart a lot. Unexpected situations always arise, group dynamics can be tricky, traveling is exhausting. Relationship with a musician (possibly with any other artist) means that you come after the music. You’ll be happier and thus have a better relationship. I’ve made some horrible messes and behaved in ways I’m not proud of.Additionally, bands spend long hours together on tour buses, airplanes, etc., and endure the hardships of the road which can be deep bonding experiences. If your fella is somewhat famous you will need to learn to deal with that and it’s not always easy.
By the time you do finally go for the post-show hang, you are close to melting down because you haven’t eaten for hours, you’re exhausted, and you really need a few minutes to connect and feel the love with your guy.
I know, I know, the band is exhausted and hungry too, they’ve put out a lot of energy during soundcheck, performance and post show schmooze.
But the band is high from the show and the attention of the fans, and they get to share the intimacy of playing a show together with all the attendant highs, lows, sick drum solos, sweet harmonies and eye contact with the crowd. I know that you want to be the devoted wife/girlfriend/main squeeze of your hot musician dude, but here’s the thing, if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll end up strung out and depleted as per above.
It comes back to taking care of yourself, then you can remain gracious and good-humored. It’s better to smile mysteriously and remain gracious as you dwell in the inner knowing of your fullness and talent.
Don’t waste your energy getting mad, keep it for your creative pursuits, which are essential to having a strong, separate identity.