Bpd dating narcissist
Although we usually assume high emotionality would be an asset in a relationship because it motivates loving behavior, too much emotionality actually turns out to be a liability.
Surprisingly, relationship skills are linked to a person’s ability to follow the rules.
In Part 1 we explored the personality type associated with traits of borderline personality disorder, or BPD, and the unusual pattern of Dr. Hyde transformation that so many of these women go through when they enter a romantic relationship.
With this understanding of what makes the woman with traits of BPD engage in these destructive behavior patterns, let’s now turn to the question of why so many men stay even when it’s clear that the woman they are with is not capable of sustaining a healthy relationship.
Although the nice-guy/borderline union in theory should work, in reality it is guaranteed to fail. Either the nice-guy type will finally have a momentary lapse of selfishness, which she will experience as a major betrayal, or she will become so overwhelmed by her suspicious nature that that she will convince herself that he has betrayed her.
Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again.
The reason we call them nice guys is based on their ability to act nice even when they aren’t feeling at their best.
These men tend to care so deeply about their connections that they do not need to struggle in the way the average person does to keep others’ needs in mind.
What was it about this man that attracted a woman with traits of BPD in the first place?
Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.
The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.
This personality type truly enjoys giving and often find they need nothing more in return than a feeling of being appreciated.
This fantasy usually comes to a crashing halt very soon.